Few things bring me more joy than the title screen for Sonic 1. Not even playing Sonic 1 gives me more joy than watching that screen. Mainly because when I see that screen I am typically thinking about Sonic 2. Man do I love Sonic 2. Though the question at hand is the radical 90s needle mouse as cool as we all remember? For that matter is he even as cool as he says he is?

I uh, I don’t particularly think so. I mean sure in his world (gotta make your own way) he might be the coolest thing around, but is that really saying much? Sure he has, and I’m quoting here, “all the dopest sounds in his stereo” so that is something.

Sonic himself though, is a lazy unmotivated slacker who doesn’t actually know what he is doing aside from not wanting Robotnik to have the Chaos Emeralds. Look at the very first ending.

He is clearly confused. He didn’t know what those were, or what they did, he just didn’t want Robotnik to have them… Or did he know?

That’s right young Olgilvie Maurice Hedgehog used to work with Ovi Kintobor. Now Ovi ends up all evil and changes his name to Ivo Robotnik, because why not I suppose? But Maurice goes from brown to blue and super fast. Huh? No for real, that’s his name.

Also Robotnik turned his dad and his uncle Chuck into robots. So he has reasons to be upset. Now before you start hooting about “canon” and whatnot just know the series has been getting closer and closer to proving the old Sonic media was atleast in the ballpark or right. Though we are not in the Sonic Forces territory tonight. Sure he is pretty chill in Sonic 2. Let’s just ignore he is legit ignoring the small child who is chasing him into danger because the poor fox idolizes Sonic.

A child who can already keep up with Sonic mind you. So one could safely assume Tails is, or atleast will be, the fastest thing alive. Then in Sonic 3, he literally gets the Super Saiyan smacked out of him.

That’s just moments in mind you. So 90s Sonic didn’t have very many cool aspects. Sure you could bring up the amazing shows, and not so amazing ones, bit that has a bad issue with his voice. The American made shows he was voiced by Urkle. His anime OAV voice wasn’t much better…

plus he racked his balls hard

So I ask where is this cool Sonic we keep hearing about? Is it his willingness to eat infinity chilidogs? Because I got that going for me too.

So is Sonic cool? Well kinda, yeah. He’s as cool as the person who likes him. He’s a goofy dork, always has been. Sonic is cool because he points out you can be yourself without worrying about being mocked. Sure he gets made fun of a lot in his games and shows, but he just tossed it back at them. Sonic getting mocked was so common the new shows just embrace it even how the fandom treats the series.

Sonic is at his core your second best friend. Not the one you always see, but that weekend and summer friend. The one who is cool because he always has some plan on what you guys could do. Hell, he is the friend that would let you come over in the summer to use his parents pool, when he just sits on a lawn chair and plays Game Gear. Sonic is cool because he is fine with himself. He doesn’t need or want your approval. So much like that other blue hero we just said we are diving into, I am gonna dive into Sonic as well. Just the main thing is I will be diving into the cartoons and movies too. Until next time I am up, over, and gone!

(Yes that was his catchphrase)