No not those, even I have a cut off point on the disgusting stuff I’ll shove in my food hole. No I’m going deeper, a more contextualized take on Taco Bell’s food preparation strategy. One I see now spilling over into breakfast cereals. Funny of as Pepsi owns both Taco Bell and one of the big two breakfast cereal companies.

I mean honestly if you look deep enough into any food company, it tends to lead back to Pepsi. Best soft drink aside though what do I mean about breakfast cereal being Taco Bell, I hear you cry. Well fine I’ll get right to it. Taco Bell is a delicious assembly line of your basic food stuffs. Each utensil that serves the food stuff out of the container is one portion of that item. So everything comes down to numbers there.

The soft taco supreme is 1 scoop beef, 1 squirt sour cream, fill with lettuce, top with cheese, and enough tomatoes to see not to taste. Then you have the beef burrito which is 1 scoop beef, 1 ladle of red sauce, 1 scoop rice, and roll it up. The basic break down is beef, chicken, steal, beans, rice, red sauce, nacho cheese, sour cream, lettuce, onion, tomato, cheddar cheese, four cheese, creamy jalapeno sauce, and some locations have black olives. That’s it. You just swirl those things in different amounts on different corn shells and flour torts and you got yourself something nice. Now take cereal. It used to be special. You wanted marshmallows? Well get some Lucky Charms the cereal tastes like ass but those marshmallows are kickin’. You want cinnamon? Well Applejacks got your back. There was a specific special trait for each one. Now though.

i mean yeah I could toss a thousand boxes up here to prove a point, or I could show just the ones that came up on my first page of Google image search for Cinnamon cereal. It was a wild ride that brought me to chocolate peanut butter Cheerios and reminded me Coco Krispies used to have a monkey mascot. Though that also is part of the problem. You can get Rice Krispies in every flavor. Frosted or unfrosted. With or without marshmallows and even marshmallow clustered Rice Krispies Treats cereal. Then you got Lucky Charms clustered treat based cereal. Unless you want fruit flavor and marshmallows.

Well ya got plenty of options. Not saying that more options is a bad thing. More just saying if everything is Fruity Pebbles then why is Fruity Pebbles special? Not every cereal needs Marshmallows. Also we can have new cereals that aren’t Lucky Charms.

A new honey cereal is nice, but did not need to also be Lucky Charms? Just think, that could have been a bee guy with marshmallow beehives. I dunno maybe a bear that eats marshmallow bees. You had options General Mills. So what’s the big deal? Well it makes buying cereal like finding something to watch on Netflix. I used to be able to pick my cereal half asleep and just flop on the couch. Not anymore. I need a spreadsheet of the advantages and disadvantages to each of my 13 fairly similar fruity cereals vs each other and more 4 vanilla flavored options. Not to mention my cinnamon Minecraft cereal or Cracklin’ Oat Bran. If every option available is basically mixing two or more original options then you don’t really have more choices, just more restrictions. You can just buy two cereals and mix them together. Doing so let’s you pick the ratio. Especially if the ratio is all berries.

This homogenized approach to food options is a terrible idea for mass market packaged foods. Making everything the same thing but different shapes? It works for Taco Bell, let’s you decide how much of each item you want to be focused on in each bite. Thin and melty or thick and chewy. The variety comes in the way it is served. Not just the shape of the grain nibblet. More than anything it’s insulting to your intelligence, because they assume the only reason you haven’t tried a certain type of cereal is because it did have a cartoon leprechaun on the box. Follow your eyes, not your nose, if it looks like a different cereal. Try that one instead. Who knows you might prefer it.