We here at the Action Lair are no strangers to breakfast cereals and all breakfast cereal adjacent products. Normally Fruity Pebbles keeps their nose clean. They stand on their own merits. Always proudly standing tall as the forerunner in the flavor of it’s dirty little side deals.
The new Crisps, and the older Treats, as well as various breakfast bars that popped up here and there have always focused on the Pebbles. Here though? Not so much. It’s delicious, I will go so far as to admit that. Silky and smooth with a strong hint of dreamcicles. The gloopy almost fudgey Fruity Pebbles peppered inside it take a backseat. Me and my assistant both agree that it’s a top tier treat.
By this point I had decided not to bother with a review. My thought was “Eh, it’s just another Fruity Pebbles tie in product.” Wait a minute, just another one? That got me thinking exactly how many products are out there based around Fruity Pebbles. Not Cocoa Pebbles, not Marshmallow Fruity Pebbles, not Magic Fruity Pebbles, not Birthday Cake Fruity Pebbles, not… huh? Magic Pebbles? Sure it’s these things.
The non Nike version is bright pink with Dino on it. Just like none of these issues are even in the wheelhouse of cereal. Arguably some stay adjacent. Like Mrs. Butterworth’s Fruity Pebbles breakfast syrup.
I’d make a joke about diabetes blood, but my brain can’t really work it out to well. Largely due to the massive wave of shame that crashed over me when I remembered I have half a bottle of Crunch Berry Syrup ontop of my fridge. I can say without trying it how this tastes. Like syrup, it’s next to impossible to out sugar liquid sugar. Sure it might have a hint of fruit flavor added in, but is it worth the social scarlet letter you will bare once word comes out what you bought. Basically just liquid candy for your pancakes. Why ruin pancakes with that when you can just buy actual Fruity Pebbles candy?
I haven’t touched those, I have seen them, Target actually has them. If you want to risk it feel free. The Patreon is no where near the level it would take to get me to slip those down my throat. They don’t say chocolate. It’s like a milk fudge. Milk fudge with cereal in it. How do you fudge a milk? Why would you want to?! Obviously it’s not good, or else why sell it only with cereal bits? It’s enough to make me need a drink.
Yabba Gabba I Don’t know if that’s official or not. I know I’ve try it, it is booze after all. No sadly what do I have access too? Fruity Pebbles coffee creamer.
See those? You can clearly see the Flintstones so it is very much licensed. That might be, but I take my coffee straight. If they had a smaller bottle or if I want to make a disgusting White Russian I’d give it a shot. That uh, that’s not a half bad idea so check back for that one. Look you just want to see the stupidest one? I could keep going but I respect your time. Not just finishing up because the party sized amount of Fruit Pebbles ice cream has poisoned me. So just think to yourself what is the worst possible tie in for Fruity Pebbles? Flintstones Children’s Vitamins, but not healthy and actually bad for you and makes you look like dried up Stretch Armstrong? Yes, yes it is Fruity Pebbles Protein Powder.
Yeah, look at that. It’s not just the overweight buying childish garbage. The exact opposite too. The fake fit supplement people are just as starved for the sweet pebbly goodness that is Post Fruity Pebbles. Like it honestly baffles me, look I was going to end with this.
It even says Epic on it in big bold letters. Haha EPIC Fruity Pebbles Cake YAAAAS! Ect ect that was where this whole article was going towards, but I can’t even pretend that’s dumb. It’s not, it’s Fruity Pebbles on and inside a cake. That’s delightful, just the branding was so heavy into the hip corporation vibe I was just gonna poke a little fun. Just I mean it somehow transcends from unhealthy snacks, unhealthy cereal, and cooking ingredient to thirty five dollar jug of whatever the hell that is. So this is my official call to action. Fruity Pebbles must be stopped. We are inching closer to a Fruity Singularity when all things will be Fruity Pebble. Not a flavor like vanilla, but an owned property. A licensed cereal if a cartoon that hasn’t been popular since those Christmas commercials they made that somehow stuck in circulation still. Don’t let a bland fruit substitute grasp a stranglehold on the supermarket. That is unless they want to bring back Ice Cream Fruity Pebbles. Those were pretty good.