Let it never be said I only review sodas as couch drinks. I understand sometimes people prefer something else. That said, I like my coffee hot, black, and strong. So sure let’s try watered cold, sweetened, and watered down! Now for the sake of not wanting to have to remember how they tasted, I went back to back with these bottles of needless decadence about half way a time, and finished them off before jumping into here.

Obvious stomach pain aside my general thoughts are they are okay. I mean they do what they set out to here. It captures the flavor profile of donut juice. Smooth and refreshing with a sweet kick. I can see some people really enjoying these on the regular. Just maybe not back to back. So I was originally going to go indepth on them one by one. Until I sipped my second one.

Yeah it wasn’t off to a promising start. Honey Bun was first up. Now I don’t remember what a Honey Bun tastes like, so I’m going off the idea it’s a glazed donut. This drink tasted just like that. I was tempted to knock it all the way back in a few goes, but thankfully I didn’t. I mean I had to double check what I was drinking when I went to the Twinkie version. Something that very much shouldn’t taste like a glazed donut. The main difference is the Twinkie is more vanilla I guess, or Vanilli to the Honey Bun’s Milli if you will. I found the Honey Bun one to be slightly more enjoyable. Largely because it’s more subtle in it’s sweetness. The big question is if it’s better than those Starbucks ones?

Well, yeah actually. Even the two weakest flavors outshine the Starbucks Fraps for me. Both in flavor and novelty. Which as you might have gathered by now, I’m a huge fan of novel experiences. Which leads me to the winner here. Drink three, Ding Dong, this one actually tastes exactly like a Ding Dong. Right down to that creamy after taste, you know the one. So if you are trying just one get the Ding Dong juice. The fact that it was so unnervingly close to a liquid cake is what might bring me back to these if they stick around in stores. Oddly that one isn’t my favorite. Snoball was odd. Snoball was delicious. Snoball tasted like Pina Colada coffee, and that’s a good thing.

Granted my exposure to coconut is fairly limited. Mainly to Pina Coladas and Hostess Snoballs. Oh and that Neapolitan Coconut Bar Chew thing. Now as for the Pina here, it’s not. Though the sweetness really kinda masks that fact. The coconut oil taste gives it that hint of not exactly alcohol. Infact it tastes like a coffee spiked Sobe. Pronounced So-Bee, if you never heard of them, or if they even still make them.

Apparently yes they do. I don’t recall them being called “Elixir” before though. So I’m only operating on a 2004 memory of something I used to drink at work. The Snoball is a very interesting drink. One I’ve sadly ruined with three extra bottles before it. So like I’m pretty sure my body would reject it outright if I tried to drink any more of them. In conclusion to whatever sugar and caffeine infused mess I just put out here let me say you should try atleast one of them. Make it a nice cartoons and chill night. Toss on whatever your favorite comfort show is from your childhood. Grab a bottle or two of these and some salty snacks. Personally I’d go with a nice bag of microwave popcorn. Something warm but not afraid of sweet flavors mixing with it. Then just play around on your phone or get in some casual reading. These are relaxing drinks that won’t put you to sleep. A great way to marry your childhood hunger for sweety cakes and your adult pallet for coffee and caffeine.

A big thank you to our Patreon Supporters for giving me the means to poison my body in new and tasty ways. Until next time, be safe and stay comfortable.