Alright, just okay Mountain Dew. At this point you are just being mean. We get that you are quirky and make Flamin’ Hot Mountain Dew. Crazy flavors is your thing, sure craft soda companies have been doing it better and for much longer. Yet that’s not the same as when you see thousands of cans of Fruit Cake Mountain Dew and realize that this means thousands of cans in every store across America. That is a completely different level of taking a risk. So obviously I had to grab a bottle. I was going to review these things.
Though Mountain Dew just had to slap the bag out of my hand a pee on my shoes. See the after taste is cinnamon, whatever who care, right before that it’s very lime forward. Nothing to get upset about right? Well can you guess the base flavor? The furst taste, the lasting taste, the corner stone of this whole cash grab of a cola. It’s the ine thing I miss about limited time Dews.
The glorious tang of concord grape Mountian Dew. Literally the only flavored Dew that is superior to the classic. Which they won’t just bring back already. No we get Code Red, because that’s what the world needs another cherry cola. Sure grape cola is common, but not concord with citrus. Yet here we are, the best Mountain Dew reduced to a seasonal gag beverage with all the nuance of a Jackson Pollock painting. I don’t mean to go off on a rant here but limited edition used to mean something. Sure not always good, but typically it meant a higher quality item alright?
Even if it is just a googly eye in a drink straw, it was higher quality than the average straw. It was worth getting if you were in the market for the item anyway. There is a world of difference between novelty sodas, like Jones Soda’s Turkey Dinner, and gag sodas like this. Through enough pasta at a wall and eventually some will stick. Case in point. You can buy pickle juice, just pickle juice. In a bottle. Now you do get pickle juice for free in your jar of pickles, but for some people that’s not enough.
Someone is gonna drink whatever you shove on a shelf so why bother giving real thought to it? Look I get it, but for some people a cool refreshing drink is a simple little joy. A nice little treat after a long day. It doesn’t even taste like Fruit Cake. Unless your idea of fruit cake is a mouth full of stale big red and a cup of gas station grapes. Every year I put up with your Voodew Mystery Flavor game. This year was no different. So maybe if you are gonna tease me with a Christmas drink, make it atleast taste festive. Pepsi used to be so afraid of oversaturating their brand they discontinued a third Pepsi. One whose difference was clear. Now I’m not saying Pepsi is innocent of pumping out random extra gimmick flavors. Just poke around the site we did plenty of reviews on them in the past. What I am saying is I can’t recall a month I didn’t see multiple limited Mountain Dew varieties just shoved onto shelves. Im fact it has been so long since I had just a plain Mountain Dew I doubt I could tell it from a store brand. Know what that sounds like to me?
That’s right oversaturated Mountain Dew, just bleeding and blending together into a mass of mediocrity. So now I ask, why not just call the soda Fruit Quake? Did it need to be Mountain Dew? That seems like you don’t have enough confidence to let it shine on it’s own. That’s a Nintendo move. Mario Party, Mario Kart, Mario and Yoshi Cookie Factory, Mario Picross, Super Smash (Mario) Bros, and many other examples of things I won’t play without Mario slapped on it, so if that’s what Mountain Dew means nowadays then I might just have to say Bah Humbug to any new Dews. Unless they made it booze. Then I’d forgive the mediocrity. Let’s see if those are as easy to find as Fruit Quake. Until next time, stay comfy.