Ah the Cyberman, a classic scifi villian who sadly is not a robot. Lots of things are not robots. Gundams, the Androids 17, 18, and 19, Voltron, Armslaves, Go Bots technically, and well lots of things. So many cool robots are not robots I have decided to sit down and redefine robot. All for the new Action Couch Life Series Robots in Review. It’s easy to follow the rules of you just make them up. So here are the three laws of being a robot.
- Robots must lack non artificial biological components. Including intelligence, no uploaded brains or transplanted bodies.
- Robots must be autonomous. If they need to be piloted that’s a suit. If it requires orders then you got a drone.
- It should be reproducible. It doesn’t have to be easy, but it has to be possible. This rules out magic robots. Those are golems.
Yeah, I know right?! That really cuts down the choices. Like technically I’m gonna rule out Transformers. They didn’t just make another Optimus Prime. Hell they didn’t make any new Autobots. The Quintessons are said to have made the Autobots, but I never seen them make anything.
Now this brings us to Go Bots. The original toys were in fact robots made by people. The 80s American cartoon had them based on aliens who put their brains into machines to prolong not just their life but to continue their war. So if I bring up Go Botsit will be Machine Robo, for better or worse.
Then we got background bots and most video game baddies. When lacking any concrete evidence to say otherwise I will go off of my extensive knowledge on pop culture lore and the world as it is presented in canon sources. In some cases we might review almost robots and robot adjacent machines. Obviously this will require a deduction in points based on how far away they stray from being a true bot. These will likely be robotic duplicates or robots with dubious origins/operations. There are some cool robots created with magic, but are recreatable. Just, like, the 60s is odd and hard to understand at times. Which only gets more confusing as those shows get rebooted. So the golem thing is more Dragon Warrior and less Mazinger, ya feel me?
So we will be grading on a curve for sure. So let’s start this off with a little guy near and dear to my heart. ACL’s own mass-produced little minion. The Couch Crony. A simple multipurpose and repurposed CRT with feet and a face. The loveable lazy Couch Crony just gets things done.
I have been planning to work them in some how as our mascot and couldn’t think of a better place to start than in the introduction to Robots in Review. As sturdy as a floor model TV and a constant smell of grandma’s house these utility bots are made up of spare TVs and patreon supporters. The go to Bad Baddies when I got nothing else planned. Couch Cronies can be modified in any number of ways from a full-scale nuclear payload to a little cowboy hat. The Couch Crony development project is a staple of Action Couch Life and a great way to get your very own picture of a TV robot drawn in like half an hour. And yes you got me this is very much a plug for our Patreon, but also it’s a robot so it counts. If you want your own click the link below!