Inspired by Tetris. Maybe I’m not a beveragologist, but I cannot fathom how one can gleam any inspiration of flavor from Tetris. Especially as the tetrominos change the look and style in each game. I suppose the well is a staple. Every Tetris title has a well. So old wooden bucket with a hint of copper and slime mold. Even that would be better than what I got. The best I can describe this is as the drinking the essence of a memory of Kool-Aid, and OOOOH YEAH! It’s bad! When it first hits your tongue it’s the crisp clean taste of a metal can with nothing else. Until the faint hint of sugar free fruit punch drink powder begins leaking from your mouth. Your teeth, your cheeks, that dangly bit in the back, and everywhere but your tongue starts to leak the stale taste of not good. Growing stronger and getting harder as it sits slowly building the tension and regret one expects from something who’s tagline is “From Russia with fun” it’s a cold war against flavor. Not gonna lie I had a whole thing planned for this. Was even gonna make Tetris ice cubes.

That all changed the moment it hit my lips. For such a bright can, and coming off the peachy heels of Sonic Rings G Fuel I was excited. Just like so many games of Tetris 99 I’m instantly hit with anger and loss. You want to drink Tetris? Then make some colored ice cubes shaped in the familiar ways and drop then in a big glass of vodka. In fact make them out of different fruit juices. That’s fun and a visual treat. One that increases difficulty the faster you go. I’d normally have not even bothered writing something up but I paid Patreon money on these things so it’s getting on here. For the record I didn’t expect much. I buy all those licensed drinks. Even those um…

Those ones I forget the brand. They all taste like Red Bull and Skittles. Even then I’m not upset. I buy them for the can. For the novelty more than anything. Just atleast make it taste decent, or taste like anything really. If you want one for the can that’s fine. That’s about all the joy you will get from this thing. Well that’s the article, now we can both be disappointed. Bye!