That is so incredibly fitting for this article. It seems this movie was so forgettable there are no real good image resources online. I don’t care enough to revisit it myself to grab images. It was a movie about a girl robot who went to find a girl not robot to save a secret city in a pocket dimension. The reason she was needed was to save the world that ended in a Donnie Darko amount of time.

Though it’s like 50 days or something. It turns out Dr. House was going sending spooky visions of the world ending to scare us straight, but all it did was just have us make cool ass video games and movies about the world going to crap. To which Dr House was not amused. So he was just gonna let it all end.

Now the doomsday machine thing was made by George Clooney, but he got kicked out of Tomorrowland for some reason. He goes back with that girl to try and save it, or blow it up, or something. That girl’s whole reason to be there is because “she hasn’t given up” whatever the hell that means. So she just hopes real hard that the world won’t end and for a second the visions of doom flash to not Doom before going right back to doom. So Clooney is like “See! There is hope” but House doesn’t care and wants to just dump them back to the doomed world, our world. That’s when Clooney has a plan to use a bomb he smuggled in to blow up the machine.

There are gun fights and robots and stuff. House dies, the machine blows up, and I think the girl stays in Tomorrowland? It’s an absolutely forgettable movie that really thought it was going to be more than it was. Ultimately it was a preachy children are the future movie that also wants to be an advertisement for Disneyland. Fittingly enough the actual vision of Tomorrowland in the Disney theme parks also failed to be what it wanted to be. A simple plot with so much made for TV “depth” you would be forgiven if you forget it’s a Disney movie. Is it a bad movie? No, not really. It’s fun enough to have on in the background. Just it also doesn’t stand up to a rewatch. So much of it doesn’t make sense. Even more of it just happens to be conveniently timed plot devices that fall apart under the simplest of analysis.

Like think a whole movie where every new scene was as dumb as the Time Turner reveal from Harry Potter. Just missed opportunity after missed opportunity. All the workings of a passable movie was there, so let ol’ Soda show you how it’s done. It’s been awhile so I am kinda blurry on the details. So like there are these hypno science pins that show you Tomorrowland for a brief second when you touch them. Some sorta recruiting program they gave up on. Those are out.

Oh it’s a part of the Disney Park Cult culture for rich idiots that spend way to much money to go to a Disney Themed loose association of tie in rides and merch? I guess we have to work it in somehow then. So the pin is uh…FoE Indicator (Friend or Enemy) like on warships and such. Only these will stop the security systems from targeting you if you try to get into Tomorrowland. As for Tomorrowland itself. I am thinking less pocket dimension, more self sustaining geofront.

Like in Evangelion, a big underground area with lots of grass and water and a bright blue sky because science. So the way to get there in the original film was like a Tesla/Edison joint venture steam punk space ship ontop the Eiffel Tower. I’m thinking hidden elevators in high up places. So you could keep the Eiffel Tower if you wanted. What’s the easiest way to hide an underground thing? Make the only way to get there really high up. And you have to put one of those badges into the button slot of the elevator. Have like the emergency stop button pop off and only at the top floor there is a hidden hole behind where it would be? I dunno spit balling here. So Clooners made the world history globe thing that they use for time travel and warping to Earth in the movie. I guess we can keep that. Perhaps even have it tied to the Epcot ball thing in Disney. Like that is the emitter for it or whatever. Now the bad guy should have a better reason for hating and wanting to destroy mankind besides the fact that we made The Walking Dead.

I mean I get it, I too want to kill everyone that goes on about that show. Just maybe not as a central plot point. So perhaps he had a friend or love interest, Clooney maybe, that left Tomorrowland for some reason and then never came back. Perhaps they fell in love or got killed or kidnapped by the military. So House couldn’t deal with it and started using the technology for evil. Beaming the end of the world thoughts to everyone. Now most of Tomorrowland is either okay with or doesn’t know about this plan and Clooney has been spying on them from Earth this whole time in the original film actually. So he obviously wants to stop them or save the world. There was this Sci-Fi hobby store in the film that was run by evil robots.

best available picture

They wanted the girl robot to stop her from giving out more pins. Perhaps Clooney could run it instead and his offering a high price for those pins do he can get back. Oh! Clooney ran off with House’s love interest in my version. To try and better the world rather than just hiding away. Just Tomorrowland operatives kept discrediting him and stopping him every step of the way. So this girl robot could still have been the one that brought Clooney there as a child I suppose. She could have been deactivated for awhile when she left to go find Clooney. Still trying to track him down she comes across the main girl. I remember next to nothing about her motivations in the first movie so let’s make her be investigating cryptid and conspiracy stuff as a hobby. She knows the Sci-Fi store is more than it seems and even has suspensions about Clooney and she and the robot girl clash a few times. Ultimately she ends up getting that pin and wants to know why the robot wants it so bad. Things eventually get sorted out and Clooney comes clean that he does want to help. Clooney’s love interest got killed in some accident a few years ago and he gave up. This also made House escalate his plans. Robot girl and not robot girl decide to try it on their own and almost die breaking into one of those elevators only to be saved by Clooney who decides to finally give a damn seeing a lot of his exlove’s personality in this girl. Almost like she could have been the daughter they never had. The girl is an orphan maybe in this version? Anyways she could actually have been from an actual Tomorrowland. One where Clooney and his wife stayed in the geofront and had a kid but something happened with the time travel portal thing that caused the deciding factor for Clooney to leave as a kid, that event was something in the future and blip blap boop his future kid got whisked to the past. Just tossing out ideas. Anyway Clooney and that girl go to Tomorrowland and stop House from making humanity restore itself and then decide to try and find a way to slowly and subtly bring the two worlds together. Starting with Clooney stepping up in a leadership role to train this girl to take over and slowly build a way for both Earth and Tomorrowland to benefit.

Now that is all off the top of my head. I already think that would have been a cooler movie. At the least more memorable. You’re Welcome Disney, infact actually…