That is not in anyway a statement on the service, yet. Rather it is what I ordered from them.

They sent me a promotional code for up to $30 in free food if I paid the delivery fee and tip. Arby’s had a free delivery special and so I ordered $30 in Arby’s. “Arby’s, it’s like a warcrime for your stomach.”

That promotion sadly ended before I was born, but probably around the time the meat was delivered 1982. I know I’m being hard on Arby’s no one forces me to eat it after all. Something that would atleast be a class three misdemeanor. Aggravated menacing, conspiracy to inflict terror? I dunno something along those lines for sure. So then why Arby’s? Because it has a very temperamental shelf life once it leaves the restaurant. This place is like 30mins away by car and the driver has never been all the way out in the cow town I live in. It’s the perfect test.

Plus the app actually shows the driver’s GPS which is pretty cool. They just picked up my food so I’ll be right back.

Okay so the tattooed lady who brought me my food was not wearing a mask, so points off. Though she wasn’t wearing a bra so points back on! First thing I noticed was I was missing a sandwich. Now die to 2020 being what it is all the restaurants tape the bags closed. So she would have had no way of knowing. That and realistically, would you want a stranger rooting through your bag touching your curly fries?

You do take a risk with any delivery service especially third party and removed from the restaurant. That said the review system was very in-depth. Not only can you review your driver in itemized ways, but the food as well down to the item. So how was the food? It was almost forty bux of Arby’s. If this is my last article you will know why. The UberEats app is fairly straightforward. You can see when they pick up your food and how long they are driving. The food arrived as hot as Arby’s could be. The curly fries went soggy but the beef ‘n’ cheeders where surprisingly hot.

Fresh and soft and oh so close to being food. Slather on a packet or two of Arby’s Sauce and you are in flavor country. Especially when you are dual fisting beef ‘n’ cheeders.

Now the thing with delivery is that it’s already a lapse in impulse control. You will over order, because delivery fee is the same regardless how many bags you fill up of let’s go ahead and call it “food” shall we? The delivery charge is based on how far away the restaurant is from the driver. I’ve seen free to four dollars there. Then a service fee of about five bux. Plus a tip.

Don’t be that guy, I am that guy, and I hate it. Atleast when you are in a restaurant you can justify away your petty money grubbing shame. If you are calling an amateur taxi company just to bring you fast food, pay them a little extra. They were doing what you were doing just a moment before that order came in. They paused their Netflix to bring you food as soon as you requested it. Toss them a little extra. The driver is only responsible for driving. If the food is bad or missing stuff the app takes care of that as well. You can review every aspect of the meal for other people as well as the managers at the food joint. So how do they handle missing food? An almost instant refund no questions asked. Funny enough I got my food for free and they still refunded me.

All that said you can be expecting to pay the cost of your food, plus around ten or more dollars in fees and tips. So is it worth $14? I dunno, how much is the gas for you to drive down there? As well as the time lost waiting for the food and driving it back. It is different for everyone really. I find it takes that special feeling away from fast food. It should be an experience, not just a greasy bag. You are depriving yourself the sights and smells of going to a fantastic building designed specifically to attract and trap the chubby and weak of will. Not saying those are the same, just how food marketing works. Me personally I like to do a little shopping before I grab a burger. Get out and look around Target or Best Buy for a bit. Walk and window-shop as you just enjoy being out for even a little bit. Then spin by a grab some grub on the way home. Trust me you’ll enjoy it better.

If you want something delivered and have it feel like a treat. That’s pizza. It’s earned that right. Pizza and a night in are synonymous. Burgers by delivery is a novelty. So I say UberEats is a good back up app to have incase you happen to be sick, or have a picky house guest over that “doesn’t feel like” pizza. It’s not bad, it’s not great, it’s just a moderately expensive option to keep in your pocket. Sorry the energy has tanked in this review. See I had to stop to the little Haro’s room during this run down because of way to much Arby’s and well…

So let’s wrap this up with a rundown so I can have a lay down.